i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my shit smells like andre
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
