Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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