It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize