remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize