We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My vagina is officially offended.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize