when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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