Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
