Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize