It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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