what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
