Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
