You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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