Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
