And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Bring me that man meat
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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