She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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