Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
