Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
