Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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