How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
