so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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