i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
