he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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