I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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