Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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