so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
