i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
