trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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