But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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