That's intense
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
