look no pants
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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