respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just google imaged poop.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
