love makes seman taste better
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
