What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
