How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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