After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
