youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize