She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize