I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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