wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
