Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
