Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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