I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
