i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
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Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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