You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
