haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
