Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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