I wannas sexs uuuuu
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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