I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
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Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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