At least make sure they are 18
Why
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
