Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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