You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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