I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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