Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
