Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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