My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
