No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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