Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize